I’ve felt a little uneasy since I posted last night about Lent.
I fear what I wrote smacks of pride, and as if I am trying to “manage” and arrange things to my own liking, rather than letting the Lord guide me towards what He would have me do this Lenten time.
It’s not that I think God would disapprove of my working through that devotional book I mentioned, or that He wouldn’t be thrilled to have me pour my heart into writing that I do exclusively for Him. Those things are good. But something is lacking.
Today I read about Lent in the latest issue of Our Sunday Visitor (a Catholic weekly newspaper). The information provided in there reminded me of what I’d learned last year in RCIA but had forgotten: Lent is to be a time of prayer and penance, and also one of fasting and almsgiving. And so I still have more to think about. Or rather, pray about. I have some ideas of what God might be calling me to fast from—actually none of the things I mentioned as possibilities in my previous post. And though at first I was thrown for a loop by the almsgiving, I just realized that our parish has already given us at least one way to do that in our families, by saving money in a special “bank,” which will then be given to an organization that helps to feed the hungry. I know there are more ways; I will have to see which of them I’m meant to help with.
A lot of us new Catholics feel overwhelmed at this time of year, I think. At least, I know I’m not the only one. Discovering all these traditions we have previously been unfamiliar with, figuring out how to work them into our daily lives with our families…..it’s not easy. There is a part of me that feels rebellious; like, who came up with this weird rule that we should eat only one meal on Ash Wednesday, and why do I have to bother with it? Yet I know that all these things we do—the fasting and praying and almsgiving and penance—are for our own good, for the good of all the world, and are our meager demonstrations to God that we do love Him in our imperfect way and are grateful for the sacrifice He made for us.
Why not embrace them all with joy?
Posted by Teresa on February 2, 2008 at 12:16 am
Joy is word that has many definitions. I wonder with my conception of the chuch if it is joy that we seek in time of lent, or is it in the “giving-up” of ourselves that leads us to the joy at the end of the lental season. I think that you are seeking something that needs not be defined at this momment, part of faith is seeking guildlines and structure and going through it with faith, rather than an imediate feeling of comfort. As in life in general, there are many things that are not for us to understand, but instead it is in the mystery of not knowing that it will come clear in the end. I respect your idea of seeking out reasons for the lental season, and I can relate with the need to know right now , and I think that God is understanding of our intentions even if we fall short of what we think he is expecting from us. I hate to see others attempt to gain favor in what is already there, Gods Love is unconditional, so we do our best, and that is all we can do. I only think that we can offend him by rejecting him, and I dont think that is what you are doing. Peace in your journy through this season of lent, and remember that learning is a life-time experience, and God created us this way so that we can remember our place in this big world. He is all knowing, we are seeking only, and one day we will know all as he, but it is okay until than, God bless you!
Posted by echowood on February 4, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Thank you for taking the time to comment on this, Teresa. It was good of you to share your thoughts, and you do seem to understand a bit of what I’m muddling through. Your advice seems to be to not obsess so much and just let God do His work in and through me—whatever it is that He wants to do. Definitely something to keep in mind when I am starting to get into “control freak” mode!
I am still trying to understand Lent. As I said in my earlier post, I never had any exposure to the idea of it in my growing-up years, so it’s all new to me. But I do believe the Bible counsels us to give thanks and have joy even through our sufferings and sacrifices, so that is what I meant in that last sentence there. I do know that we are meant to grow closer to Christ and to grow in virtue during this Lenten time—certainly there can only be joy in those things!
God’s Peace,
~ Kimberly
Posted by Sabrina on February 5, 2008 at 8:22 am
Hi Kim,
I’m really enjoying this thread. The Puposky Lutheran Parish is very traditional in it’s observances, and Lent is part of that. This is also my very first exposure to Lent. I appreciate your sharing as much as you have because it has given me a sort of mini-lesson on the subject and you have caused me to think. (I’ve missed the last three Sunday services due to sick kids and work, so I haven’t had the opportunity to hear how it is presented there-your blog has been a fill in)
I’m so glad you write about your faith and your journey with God. It is a constant reminder to me to continue to be open to God. Like an inspiration. Being around people that are letting God work in their lives inspires me and encourages me. Thank you.
PS……I know I’ve been absent lately. Isaac is just recovering now from a very bad case of pnuemonia and being home from school for more than a week. I’m very behind at work because of that, and my sleep pattern is all messed up. Just trying to stay afloat at this point. You really do inspire me, Kim, even though I haven’t told you so much lately. Love you so much.
Posted by echowood on February 5, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Dearest Sabrina,
Thank you so much for writing! I had been feeling totally awful about these last couple of posts—so much so that I was thinking about giving up blogging altogether, because I felt like I was just making a muddle of things, especially when it comes to matters of faith. Knowing that the things I’ve written have been of help to you has made such a huge difference. So often, especially when I share about my journey with God, I feel like I am saying WAY too much and either confusing people or making them uncomfortable. It’s encouraging to know that I do inspire a few people!
I’ve missed you, my friend. Very sorry to hear about Isaac being sick. I pray things will even out for you soon. I always mean to write—I miss our old-fashioned letter exchanges. I’ve been thinking about that a lot and will break out the pen and paper real soon. I love you, too. Take good care.
~ Kimberly