On Thursday night, we had company for dinner. Our guest was a colleague of Brian’s. He’s originally from Germany, and Brian first met him in Colorado during one of his research trips to NCAR and NOAA (those are weather-predicting places, to be simple about it). Now he is working in the meteorology department at the university here. His wife is still back in Boulder and won’t be joining him until May, and so we thought it would be nice to have him over for dinner. We chose Valentine’s Day because, traditionally, no one likes to be alone on Valentine’s Day, and because—let’s face it—we didn’t exactly have any big date plans ourselves (we do have three children, after all).
And so it was—company for dinner.
We had a lovely time. He brought wine, and Brian made his world-famous (not-really-but-you-know-how-people-like-to-call-anything-good-they-
make-”famous”) Chicken & Asparagus Pasta. I made homemade rolls and a Bananas & Cream Bundt Cake (served with a dollop of Cool Whip) for dessert. We even had coffee and tea. Delicious food, and very good company. We chatted and laughed about all sorts of things, and of course, the kids tried to monopolize all of our guest’s attention; but he was a good sport about it, and overall, we had a very nice time.
During my growing-up years, my family was always having people over and going to other people’s houses for dinner. It was something to look forward to—especially if the other folks had kids. Two of my best friends, when I was a kid, were sisters. Our dads worked together, and our moms were friends. We spent hours playing with each other at these family dinners.
I always imagined that, if I ever got married, my husband and I would do as my own parents did, and have people over for supper on a regular basis.
Well, here Brian and I have been married for nearly 13 years, and I’m sure I could count on my two hands the number of times we’ve actually invited people over for meals. We’ve had the occasional out-of-town house guests, and we’ve had a baptismal open house and a couple of birthday parties, but overall, we have not made “having people over”—being hospitable—a staple of our life as a married couple.
I think it’s time for this to change.
Our Thursday-night company was telling us that his wife (also from Germany) is working on a Masters Degree in French Literature. She teaches, and apparently her students find it odd that a German would teach French. She’s always being asked if she’s from Canada. Hearing this story reminded me of a gal I knew at our apartment complex in Indiana. She was Italian but was studying some other country’s literature as well. She and I would chat now and then on the sidewalk, when I would be out walking the dog. I remembered she was engaged to a guy named Charles, but it took much longer for me to remember her name. And then I thought, “Why didn’t we ever have them over?”
…..Which led me to thinking about some of the other friendly acquaintances we had at the apartment during those seven long years in Bloomington. All those years, all those little conversations by the mailboxes or in the courtyard while our pets frolicked and tangled their leashes……
One of the biggest regrets of my life was not getting to know a certain person when I had the chance. The other night I realized how little I’d really learned from that lesson. Repeatedly, throughout my adult life, I have avoided getting close to people I’ve met. I have a few very close friends, but none of them live anywhere near me—and haven’t since college.
It’s like it just hit me like a ton of bricks: What kind of life is it if you never get to know the people around you?
“Entertaining,” being hospitable, having people over…..whatever you want to call it, I am ready for this (and I think Brian would agree that he is to) to be a regular part of our lives.
Guess who’s coming to dinner?
(I’ll let you know soon!)
Photo courtesy of Microsoft Clip Art Gallery.
